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The Official Fairy Tail Wiki Magazine, Issue 13, 30 January 2013 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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 Hey there, people! So I know you guys were expecting Carrot to do this article this month, but since she's gone, your favorite playboy is gonna be doing it in her place :P Before we start, I'm sure you all recall the game Carrot had on this article last month. I have to admit, it was a nice idea that actually made people read this article, since we were all used to skimming it, if we were reading it at all. The winner of the last game was Evanalmighty, who was promised a shout out in the next magazine for his success. Congrats, Evan! Yeah, so you were also promised some other prize. Knowing Carrot, it was something elaborate but since I have no idea what it was, I won't be able to give it to you. I guess you can expect it when she gets back. In the mean time, we've got a game for this month's tech updates as well! It's the same rules as the game from last month, so there are 5 updates listed which are incorrect in some manner. However, unlike last time, you guys won't be getting any hints from the writer. To win, you need to find and name all 5 updates that are incorrect. Mention them in the comments. Good luck to everyone who participates. The winner of this game will get a shout-out in the next magazine and will get an additional prize. What is that additional prize? Well, you'll have to meet me in chat personally to find out. I'll be giving it to you myself in there. Depending on who it is, that may or may not take a while though..... Good luck to all ;)
 
(Wendy to Cosmos)"My job is to support everyone but... when I have to fight... I become the Dragon of the Sky!"
(Minerva to Erza about Lucy)"You should be thanking me that I made her second place. That useless piece of trash girl."
   Go on. You know you want each other. After his strenuous battle against Bacchus, Elfman's been recovering in the infirmary. Erza takes the time to praise his tenacity and show she's not that uptight and can give praise where need be. So much to the happiness of some pedophiles, Wendy is gonna take his spot on Team Fairy Tail A Out in the stadium, it's the battle of the Up in the stands, Carla is worried about that crazy vision she had. Cause yeah, the last one she had came true in every form exactly like she thought it would >_> Thankfully, she decides to stop being lame and start cheering but much to her surprise Anyone who reads the manga no doubt remembers the chapter on which this episode is based. If you're a guy, no doubt you went back to this chapter so you could do your business and if you're a girl.....well, I dunno what you would do.   Can anyone tell me what "A-W-K-W-A-R-D" spells? Have you ever looked forward to something and been disappointed. I know you have. If you haven't, then you've never had any expectations. As a guy who really enjoyed the manga chapter, I found myself having the urge to download this episode. Not for that reason >_> Get your mind out of the gutter. One of the best things about Fairy Tail's art is that the girls are attractive without the need of over-detailing or ridiculous proportions *cough*OnePiece*cough* but this episode seriously decided to throw a porn-bomb at us. I dunno about everyone, but the detailing on the girl's bodies looked way too messed up and awkward to even remotely be sexy.
  But the anime doesn't stop there. Oh no. The anime decides it's a good idea to get all the girls in on this. Mavis even wants the Fairy Tail girls in on it but Cana feels she can't since she doesn't have a swimsuit, cause, you know, that top she ordinarily wears that shows off almost everything north of her waist apparently isn't revealing enough for her. Though Mavis decides to take care of it by using her Magic of hammerspace to cause bikinis to RAIN DOWN LIKE VISITORS FROM HEAVEN HALLELUJAH!!   Seems like Cana put on a real swimsuit too. Somewhat legitimately, Juvia gets in on it as the water Mage and soon after every girl is down in the arena posing   This is wrong. So very wrong. Meow :3 Then we get into all the themes of the day. School Swimsuits, bikinis + thigh-highs which Lucy finds more embarrassing than the normal bikinis, cause apparently showing less skin is embarrassing to her. As far as topics go, the next is bondage! One can't deny that it's funny as hell seeing Evergreen get confident about it, only for Erza to take it away from her. C'mon, Erza's a master of that stuff, does anyone really have a chance? If you don't believe me, just ask the last guy she tortured. I guarantee you that that perverted yuri-writer enjoyed it and hated it at the same time :3   Bestiality? Apprently, Mirajane thinks Master Makarov is a more suitable person to pose as her groom than his tall, blond, young, muscular, handsome While everyone pairs off, Lyon has Juvia taken from him by Gray, who won't let her go with a jerk from another guild. Bad news for Lyvia shippers, but I guess it's good for Gruvia shippers. Lucy gets swept off her feet and into the air by Loke, who Magically knew exactly what was going on. Meanwhile, Natsu actually receives a compliment from Lisanna after giving her one, but is then flattened as Lucy is dropped on him. Apparently, Loke wasn't all that attracted to her. It's all fun and laughs there..... This is the kind of thing every fan of fanservice fears! Just when you're getting hyped up something comes that just has to bring you down. Ooba in a swimsuit is the kind of thing that only the gnarly, scary, demon-spawning testicles of Satan himself could have conjured. The entire idea of this was misguided since Ooba isn't even remotely close to the sex appeal of a young female character like Erza or Mirajane. I'm sure the animators wanted to give us a laugh, but I think they've forgotten what "Laughing" is. There's nothing funny about an old woman scaring the sexy out of people with her ugliness. The sex appeal of an entire stadium full of hot young women So thankfully, we end that load of baloney-porn and get back to what the manga had made us love: the battle between Mirajane and Jenny. Back to the issue, Jenny bets Mirajane that the loser of their battle is gonna have to pose naked for the Sorcerer Magazine. Like a boss, Mirajane agrees. No doubt that made a lot of characters and fanboys happy :P Jenny, being the sexy, sly slut she is, has heard that the judges love younger women and since Mirajane hasn't aged in 7 years, she's young. Wait.....Jenny used to work with Mirajane in the business. Mirajane was 19 in X784 but she and Jenny look the same age now O_O How old was Jenny way back then!? Uh.....keeping the potential sexual exploitation of a young Jenny aside, there's the battle. Jenny uses her So for the next couple seconds, we get to see a few multi-angle shots of Mirajane as she sweeps Jenny with one attack. Jenny's armor is smashed to smithereens, Mirajane is the winner and the audience is astounded and the members of the guild are happy. Especially the two older pervs who wanna buy the next Sorcerer Magazine. Hell, she even gets a comment that she's not someone to piss off. From Laxus of all people! And Jellal acknowledges. I'd say that's a hell of an accomplishment. Mirajane feels she wore a lot of immodest outfits. Yeah, cause that's so very different from what every other girl in the series wears XD C'mon. The stuff they wear would never be suitable for battle. Though since it's skimpy, it'd be perfect for the town :P So with Mirajane's victory, the B team gets 10 points and gets tied with Natsu's team. Still, Jellal is anxious for some reason, though he tries to hide it. I think he knows his stalker is coming back not too long from now XD Elsewhere, big-nose meets with the Midget Minister of Defence and tells him that their Eclipse plan is fast-approaching and they'll soon have a Celestial Spirit Mage for their plot. Apparently, for the sake of king and country, a man may even become a devil or god. Uh, ok. Nice job being ambiguous and boring simultaneously :|   Yuri in 3.....2..... So back to the tournament, we have the final fight of the 2nd day: Kagura vs. Yukino. Sabertooth isn't too happy about Sting's screw-up but Yukino understands. Mermaid Heel is apprehensive since they're fighting Sabertooth, but Kagura doesn't care, cause she knows the destination of her sword. Ok :| Everyone knows that this is the fight that makes a wiki admin drop his pants but sadly for him, the fight hasn't started yet so he's kept his pants on. Instead, the girls decide to continue the tradition of the day. Yukino proposes that they bet their lives on the fight yet Kagura doesn't answer. Thanks for the suspense, animators >_> Though I'll give those guys the credit that the fade into the ending theme works quite nicely with that and hopefully, the next episode gives us some substance to work with.  Picking up from where we left off, Yukino has proposed to Kagura. No, not that kind of proposal >_> She's proposed that they bet their lives on the battle. Most of Fairy Tail looks on in surprise except Ms. too cool to care while the members of Mermaid Heel worry for their strongest Mage, in comparison to the cocky Sabertooth Mages, who praise Yukino's foolishness. Oh boy =_= Back on the field, Kagura decides to accept Yukino's offer, since, you know, when someone offers you something you just have to take it no matter what. The stakes have readily been raised over the course of the day, from secrets, to sex, to nudity to life. At least there's a nice degree of consistency.   We eat fish...but what if fish eat us? So the battle begins with everyone gawking over the fact that Yukino is a Celestial Spirit Mage. Arcadios and Datong are surprised and so is Lucy. Erza, upon hearing that she'll summon a fish spirit begins thinking Sadly for Yukino, Kagura dances around her fish with ease, though Happy is wondering why she doesn't just eat it, failing to realize it's so damn big. To stop Kagura's dodging, Yukino summons Libra, the Scales, much to the delight of the perverted audience Luckily for him, Kagura manages to use her own Gravity Magic to stop Pisces' incoming attack with her own Gravity Magic. Oh, and she managed to overpower Libra as well. Apparently, the spirit's Gravity Magic is weaker than Kagura's Seriously, though Yukino's own Magical power is certainly not that low, wtf >_>   Don't try to look up her skirt, guys. It's pointless. So Kagura goes back out into battle and Yukino calls off her spirits. Frosch is worries but Lector and Sting aren't, since they know Yukino has her trump card: The 13th Gate. I think everyone knows about the day that they turned on the TV/read the newspaper/went online and read about the "new" Zodiac sign. It became an issue of fanfiction for a long time and as it happens, Mashima introduced it to Fairy Tail. Now the anime has taken the reins and introduced the massive serpent bearer: Ophiuchus. The serpent bearer is certainly more of a serpent than a serpent bearer and is actually rendered quite nicely with CG, allowing it to move in a snake-like fashion. So as everyone jizzes about the spirit, Kagura, with her sword undrawn, cuts it down and into pieces with ease. OK, who thought this was a good idea? One of the most irritating things about Fairy Tail that always pisses people off is how that which is hyped is often shown to be completely nothing in front of something unknown or even something familiar. You can easily talk about a legendary spirit beyond the 12 Zodiac keys and then have it thrown aside with easy but why would anyone wanna do that? One issue with this is that when you introduce something genuinely strong and that you plan to showcase, it's rendered asunder because expectations have already been built up and smashed. Plus, it's irritating >_>   Kagura kicks ass. So with that, Kagura easily defeats Yukino, claims her life, and goes on to marry Omega natsu2, spending her life caring for him (as an equal) and pleasuring him with her mouth. He wishes XD Nope, Kagura just walks back to her team and leaves Yukino on the ground, crying over the loss and the fact that her life now belongs to Kagura. As if she has any use for it =_= That night, Jellal and Erza go down to the docks and do it right there right then. Nah, that's a joke XD Please don't kill me, girls. What is happening though is that Jellal hasn't been able to sense that mysterious power that he was sensing in previous years. Naturally, he has a lot of theories, but we know why, don't we?   Is this outfit "freedom of choice"? I like it :P While walking, Erza is called out to by an old friend. Millianna is back and she's decided to exchange her original wardrobe for the outfit that I think I saw a stripper wear on the internet last week. Reli:You watch strippers? Anyways, Sho and Wally haven't joined since Mermaid Heel is a women-only guild Elsewhere, some of the Fairy Tail gang is partying with Quatro Cerberus, or rather Quatro Puppy, drinking, being merry and even engaging in their verbal quirks. While Lucy confers unto Levy her feelings about Yukino's bet, Bacchus has Natsu pass on a message to Elfman since he can't be bothered to do it himself.   Gather around the At Crocus Garden, where Sabertooth resides during the game, Sabertooth's Guild Master, who will henceforth be referred to as Guild Bastard, Jiemma, decides that he's a sexist pig and will give Sting one more chance even after his humiliating failure while Yukino's failure earns her the chance to be hit by grapes and forced to strip naked. Sexist bastard >_> So as the day ends, Yukino is forced to take her clothes off, Gray is being hounded by both Juvia and Lyon in different ways, Natsu and the gang have fun, Erza converses with Millianna and Jellal is on the hunt. In the overall, Fairy Tail is still low down, but despite this, there's always the chance for a comeback. It wouldn't be Fairy Tail otherwise :) Gotta say though, the fade into the ending theme is essentially perfect in this episode. Too bad the lyrics get weaker as we get more into the song.  Let's all wind the clocks back and remember what has recently happened. Some thugs claiming to work for Raven Tail, but really worked for Arcadios, kidnapped Wendy, Carla and Porlyusica cause At first, we're treated to a little spat between Risley and Lector, who are bitching about the eventual victory of their respective teams. After finding out the standings, in which Raven Tail is first and Sabertooth second while both Fairy Tail teams are in the last two spots, we go off to see the events of today's episode.   Don't worry. There's always karma. In Sabertooth's lodging, Yukino is answering to guild bastard Jiemma, who, disappointed with her understandable loss against an opponent who was just too much for her, has decided he wants to gratify himself like the old perv he is and makes the poor girl strip naked. Plus he wants to kick her out while stripping her. Cause, you know, she can't remove her guild mark without doing that, he has to humiliate her as well >_> So the poor girl starts crying and as far as we can see, only Frosch seems to care   I'm an ass and I know it >:) We then see two sides of the dragon coin. On one end is the blond dick Sting Eucliffe who doesn't care about his comrades and regards Yukino's excommunication as necessary for the guild since she was weak. Yeah, cause flailing around on a chariot means you're truly deserving of being in the "strongest" guild. On the other end is the emo Gajeel-fanboy Rogue Cheney. He questions the guild's nature and at least cares about Yukino as a comrade and likes Frosch, though it's weak. That ought to make some fangirls happy :3 Though I wonder why we haven't been given Frosch's gender   If she has anything to say, these two will never be near one another. Elsewhere, Erza has reunited with her old friend and fellow slave from the Tower of Heaven, Millianna. Millianna now walks around in her stripper gear. Having apparently come off her last show and hidden her tip money, she decides to chat. Millianna and Erza talk about Kagura and her strength and the sword she carries: Archenemy. A sword to be used to kill Jellal Fernandes. Silly girl, don't you know that Jellal's fangirls are going to stop you before you even get close to him? But hey, it'd make for a cool scene. Millianna has come to hate Jellal as well for making her a slave and believes Erza feels the same way, cause she doesn't know her well enough to see that she doesn't hold grudges like that. In the Fairy Tail lodge, Yukino meets with Lucy and the others. Though she offers her two Zodiac keys to her, saying that with them and the 10 she has, Lucy can open the gate that will "change the world". Lucy declines, saying she doesn't want to break the bond Yukino has with her spirits, since that's what Celestial Spirit Magic is about. This has to be one case that, as far as I'm concerned, does show a good degree of character development. When we first met Lucy, she was a person who'd do anything to get a key   C'mon baby. Nice and slow :3 Anyways, Yukino, now in attire as skimpy   If this didn't make you at least a little bit sad, you have no heart. The reason why they left? Well Natsu felt he was an ass to Yukino and decided he needed to apologize. OK, he was a bit dismissive of her. Not really something another person gets depressed over as far as I'd think, but hey, that's just me. Happy seems to feel the need to undermine Natsu's attempts, which are about as genuine as they get. Obviously, they're genuine and get Yukino's emotions worked up, and scare the pants off Natsu when she starts crying and reveals what happened, from her dream to join Sabertooth, her excommunication due to her loss and having been stripped naked and forced to erase her guild mark, killing off her memories and feelings about the guild. Obviously, this pisses Natsu off and makes him claim that no guild that makes their members cry can be a guild. Gotta say, it's nice to see him caring for Yukino in this way. Sure, it's kinda a nakama issue, but it's not making him stronger in battle. He's just angry about what they did to the poor girl. To me, this is Fuyuka Oura's best performance in Fairy Tail. She also does the voice of Eve and Angel and she's well but in this role, she can really make the character pop and her voice brings out a lot of Yukino's inner turmoil and makes the viewer genuinely feel sad for her. I'd probably go as far as saying she's one of the best in the GMG arc alongside Shizuka Ito who voices Flare. With her, the emotion rises beyond the screen and into the viewer and I'd say this beats the manga version of the scene. I'm a manga reader and to me, it's almost remarkable that the anime did something to improve what the manga did, but it did and I do often hope for it *cough*LaxusvsHades*cough* and I'm happy when it happens :) Elsewhere, Gray meets up with Erza and more or less confirms that he knows Juvia likes him. OK, it's nice to know he's not totally dense. A while ago, I went on a little issue when someone said that since Gray ignores Juvia, he has no balls. I'm not gonna start on that since I feel Gray has his reasons for avoiding a clingy girl, and hey, everyone approaches love differently. Erza loves Jellal and vice-versa as far as I'm concerned but both act differently about it. At this point, there's a perfectly obvious deep care between the two of them, though probably not deep enough for some fangirls. :P Oh, and in the palace, Arcadios is busy being a creep and chanting Zeref's name. Like anyone cares >_> This would be a more interesting issue if they actually tried making it interesting rather than just plain and ambiguous. We have no motivation, no personal feelings. It's really just the ravings of a mad man and the nearby going "Wtf".   "I thought I told you to stop waking me up after I finish banging Lector!" So over at Crocus Gardens, there's an explosion and Rogue rushes into Sting's room to wake him up, cause he evidently doesn't care if he's naked or not. Natsu: Where's your master!? Ridiculous Natsu, as usual. But hey, at least the dude has good intentions. If he wins, Jiemma, by his own logic, must leave the guild. Seems clear that one can only speculate what's gonna happen next  Picking up where the last episode left off, Natsu has barged into Sabertooth's lodge to challenge Guild Bastard Jiemma to a fight. If he wins, Jiemma has to leave the guild just like he forced Yukino to. Hopefully, Natsu won't make the old kook take his clothes off 0_0 >_<   However, before he's willing to fight Natsu, he sends Kakashi's Earth Land counterpart into battle first. Though the manga made this fight rather small, the anime extends it a bit with Dobengal throwing some smoke bombs, knows and seemingly turning his hand into a rainbow   I'm gonna electrocute and burn your ass. Sting decides that he wants to IamJakuhoRaikoben: Expelliarmus!   Alright boys. Let's pray for an even bigger gust of wind. Who should stop the battle but Minerva, daughter of the Guild Bastard and the user of Magic with no official name. Through her abilities, she's managed to diffuse Natsu's attack, pretty much damaging everything except his intended target. I can only imagine the repair bill. Having coincidentally arrived in the nick of time with absolutely nobody noticing, Minerva tells Natsu that if Jiemma were to kill him, it'd cause problems during the games. Oh, and for anyone who wants to see a little something I noticed: Click [show] to see
So moving away from the Final Fantasy stuff which I'm not gonna get into, we get a little scene of Lucy, Erza and Gray hearing out Natsu on his fight. Happy is sad it ended the way he did, though Carla points out that it could've been worse, with Wendy agreeing. Gray and Lucy seemingly get pissed at him, though Gray is more pissed about not having been told about the fight in the first place. Gotta admit, it's perplexing that Gray is so bent on beating Rufus. Sure, the dude kicked his ass in the first event, but it's not like he was attacking him exclusively like Nulpudding was. Moving on, the people wonder where Yukino has gone now that she's out of her guild. Though the serious issue is quickly stopped by a pillow fight that Erza completely exacerbates. You'd think the guys would've learned by now :P The next morning, Yukino hears about the fight and blushes a bit about the idea that Natsu did it for her. Is this love that I'm seeing? :P Anyways, the next day of the game starts with Yajima and Chapati Lola (the latter of whom is wearing a wig colored way too much like Michelle's hair) welcoming Lahar of the Rune Knights as their guest judge. Along with him is Rai's male lover who was dragged along. We know he just wants to see Fairy Tail   "Girls need their fanservice too." So the name of the game of the day is Pandemonium. While the Fairy Tail members in the stands speculate about the nature of the event, one member of each guild gets told to go out. Erza goes from Fairy Tail A, shutting down Natsu who wanted to do it. From the B Team is Cana, who's taking the place of "Mystogan", who can't be seen due to Lahar's presence. Did anyone else noticed all those names. I know anime has messed 'em up but really? "Olga Nanagia"? So he's an old woman art teacher now?   Mato Explaining Pandemonium. Anyways, so the castle descends from above in relatively mediocre CG. Go down in the template, you lose any accumulated points in there, though your previous points are safe. At least it's not over-the-top though in all fairness, that'd be a pain for the event holders as well. So the contestants draw numbers to see who goes first. Erza draws #1 while Cana draws #8.   Does anyone else think "Tentacle Rape" when they see this? Erza, impatient as ever, even for the rest to finish drawing (looks that way to me), decides that her luck is paying her off today and decides to challenge all 100 monsters. Naturally, almost everyone wets their pants in the arena while the crowd is equally surprised as well. Everyone stares, mouths gaping wide open, except Natsu and Gray This episode is pretty much transition for the next episode which, judging from the preview, will be a dramatically lengthened battle of Erza vs. the 100 monsters. A battle which Mashima just glossed over in the manga. It begs the question as to whether or not we’ll see any real development or if the whole thing is gonna be a slugfest barring the last couple minutes, which rarely are. Then again, if you’ve seen the other episodes, you’ll already know that anyway. The real issue I found with this episode was the constant transition. Rarely did it stay anywhere with one group longer than a few minutes. Anime-only content here was…..bland, as I often expect. The episode could’ve benefited if could have lost a few minutes in a couple spots like the group chastising Natsu. Though on the other hand, it was cool seeing Doranbolt and Lahar, having not seen either of them for a little while now. These two actually have something interesting to say and do this time around and for Doranbolt, there is Fairy Tail and all the Mages he knew to go along with it. So while this episode isn’t anything particularly special, it isn’t really a bad one and I’d say it’s a good build-up for the next one, which shall be covered by the Carrot, who will hopefully be back to action after her trip to Thailand. Until then, this is Ultraprime2 saying "Goodbye".
I - Chapter 313: Champion's Scenario[] "Crunching crunchy food with his feet on the desk" Sho, where were we wlast wtime?
Oh, right... "Pretends to be shocked" NO WAY! HOW CAN IT BE?! THERE'S NO WAY I'D EXPECT THAT!!! "Sits back" Sheesh. Everyone is shocked by the appearance of a second Lucy, and some theories about the newcomer pop up (Gemini's copy, an Edolas counterpart, a way to insert some time paradox lesbian cuddling in the series...). Lucy 2.0, however, rapidly reveals that she came from the future through the Eclipse gate. ... The screaming animation at this point would be wasted. Anyhow, the gal collapses unconscious to the ground before she has a chance to finish her sentence "Soon, this country... will... be...". In order to show some regard to my readers, I'll give you guys the chance to guess how this phrase ends. Pick one option (or more than one) from the following:
Anyhow, the group decides to leave with Lucy 2.0, who Natsu lays on his shoulders after fondling her butt for good. Elsewhere... Oh, the fuck, it's the Princess and the Minister. Snow White and the Dwarf, AGAIN. What a pain in the ass! Let's sum up their boring talk and say that Hisui's already unlocked the Eclipse gate with Celestial Spirit Keys. All that remains to be done is to open it. On to something else... What was it again?  Yeah, that's right. Kagura is pretty pissed, and orders Minerva to let go of the kitten. The "Tiger" doesn't comply, so the "Mermaid" rushes at her to attack... Only to clash swords with Erza again when Minerva switches her position with the Fairy Tail Mage. She then leaves, telling the two of them to fight. The winner will get to face her. ... That's pretty much using Millianna as a hostage, smart girl. I thought you said there was something else on your mind, right? Unless... "Hears Millianna screaming with a muffled voice in the background, together with the sound of a whip cracking" Oh, oh, I see... You're into that Minerva, this was the plan. ... Let's just focus on the two swordswomen, right? After headbutting Erza for "pretending Millianna is her friend", Kagura gets really angry, claiming she'll beat both her and Minerva. Elsewhere, while Gajeel is busy throwing shit on Mavis' failed calculations (tell her, man!), he runs across Rogue (who got himself a new cape out of nowhere), and the two ready for battle. FOR REAL?! WHAT A SURPRISING AND UNEXPECTED MATCHUP! In yet another place, lightning is prepared to collide... Yes, you got it right, it's LAXUS!!! This is probably Fairy Tail' first positive thing in 2013. And since it's lightning we're talking about, who else can be Laxus' opponent other than Orga Nanagear? The Sabertooth Mage, at long last, finally confirms himself as the Lightning God Slayer! Hey, wait a minute. Is this it? ... Seriously Orga, you just spit it out like that before the battle even ensues? This is completely anti-climatic! Didn't you learn anything from him? Not to mention how Thunder God Slayer would have sounded way better. Anyhow, Laxus tells him how killing gods is nothing compared to killing fairies.
The Sabertooth Mage is still sitting in the same alleyway from some time ago, where he claims to have thought up a "scenario" (hence the chapter's name) which will lead his guild to the ultimate victory for Lector's sake. Hey, wait a minute... You mean Sting actually...
For the first chapter of the year, this was a rather plain thing with plain contents and already foreseen matchups. Hope it will at least lead to some fights worth reading. The art is good, but that's nothing new. Double page of Kagura and Erza clashing. II - Chapter 314: Erza vs. Kagura[] The chapter starts with Crime Sorcière, with whose members Lucy 2.0 has apparently interacted, telling them that the country will be destroyed the following day (for those of you who went for the "... destroyed" option in the above poll, congratulations! You chose an obvious answer not even remotely funny. Hope you're satisfied with yourselves, monsters). Meredy suggests evacuating the citizens, but Jellal notes how something feels wrong about the whole story. Meanwhile, Erza and Kagura begin their battle, this time for real. ... Well, battle is sort of an euphemism. It's more like "cleaning the toilet with Erza's face", since that's what Kagura does: she easily repels her, emerges unscathed from her Pentagram Sword, overcomes her Heaven's Wheel Armor with the Strong Form of Archenemy (giving the sword huge blunt abilities), and her Purgatory Armor with the Slashing Form (doing the same with cutting), and ultimately surpasses her Flight Armor and its new Sonic Claw attack in terms of speed. Fairy Tail goes "WTF?!" for most of the confrontation. ... "Sits crunching popcorn" A badly beaten Erza commits the mistake of openly asking whether Kagura's strength stems from her hatred towards Jellal. Let's hear our sport reporter's comments on the situation.
Erza tells Kagura not to infect Millianna with her hatred and desire of vengeance... which earns her further beating. She finally resolves to ask why the Mermaid Heel Mage hates the man so much, and Kagura gives her an answer. Her brother was Simon, who was killed by Jellal. ... I seeee... ... ... ... Seriously, am I no longer capable of showing surprise or is Mashima unable to create climatic moments and interesting connections between characters? This was not shocking at all. I mean... Everyone's could have been Simon's sister. Her being Kagura is nothing special. Since the Tower of Heaven was likely Jellal's biggest and most well-known bad deed, it was expectable the gal's grudge would stem from it. ... Am I the only one finding this whole thing banal? Sheesh. Anyhow, flashback time. Simon and Kagura used to lead a poor but happy life, which was ruined when their village was raided by people gathering slaves for the Tower of Heaven. Kagura got away, and continued searching her brother for years until she finally came across Millianna, who told her of Simon's death at Jellal's hands. And this is how the revenge thing came up. THE END <sarcasm>Compelling</sarcasm>. At this point, Erza reveals how Millianna was absent when Simon was killed, and that the death of Kagura's brother isn't Jellal's fault, but her own: it was her weakness which killed Simon. Bad move. Kagura snaps (for real! Think we'd never seen something like this in the series), and, much to her guildmates' shock, unsheathes Archenemy, spilling blood. Everyone looks on in dismay. Chapter ends. ... So, yeah, that's it. While I enjoyed Erza having her ass trashed around, the family connection was nothing surprising or special. Still, a chapter better than many other. A note goes to the art, which reached a particular peak with a certain, peculiar picture.   Trentin Quarantino presents: Kill Jellal. Pretty awesome, seriously. III - Chapter 315: Rosemary[] ... ... ... Seriously, I ain't losing my time reviewing this. It's not like I can throw it away every time Mashima raises expectations and then merely shits on the blank page, miraculously giving birth to fine drawings but coming up with a storyline which is not unlike the material used to outline it. Do us a favor and take up knitting. Instead of reading a review about this hideous thing, I'll have you guys listen to a nice song. 'njoy yourselves.
 IV - Chapter 316: The Future Accelerating Towards Despair[] The chapter starts with... crap from last chapter. Not interested in it The only thing I'll be mentioning is that, hey, it looks like I was right about Minerva "having some quality time" with Millianna. For real, I wrote that before reading this. Creeeeeeeeepy. Anyhow, Rogue's getting pummeled around by Gajeel, but claims that Natsu is stronger than him. The Iron Dragon Slayer doesn't take it well. And here comes what I enjoy calling "Chapter 316's (but nothing new to Mashima's drawn production) Big Outfit Fuckup Extravaganza". Rogue is wearing his old outfit with a different coat. I bet he's only came around now to face Gajeel because he was switching attires. Nice going. Elsewhere, an epic clash is taking place.  ... or rather, an epic clash would take place if this wasn't the second issue of Chapter 316's (but nothing new to Mashima's drawn production) Big Outfit Fuckup Extravaganza. Yeah, because it looks like Orga got his boots wet and had to switch them with shoes, and some slight cuts to his arms prompted him to remove his armbands and wrap his forearms in bandages. Not to mention how a sudden allergy to colorant had him delete his war paint. Seriously big fella, you've really been unlucky recently. And your bad luck isn't over yet, for someone's noticed the would-be epic clash.  Fuck, that's what we'd been waiting for! Too bad the whole thing is ruined by yet another instalment of Chapter 316's (but nothing new to Mashima's drawn production) Big Outfit Fuckup Extravaganza: seriously, how many fucking times has Jura changed his outfit recently? Seriously, I can't seem to understand what the "canon" one is supposed to be; it'd even be hard to put or link images for every instance. Anyhow, while Laxus remains pretty calm at the thought of facing "a beast", Orga shows some shock... great enough for his tattoo to reapper in the center of his face. ... Eeeeeeeeeeeextravaganza. Meanwhile, Juvia and Chelia are still favoring a childish catfight over their amazing power to become and control water and create black currents supposedly strong enough to slay deities. Gray and Lyon arrive on the scene: the whole thing is becoming a tag battle... and some weird love square. Back to the Mercurius, Team Idiot can't seem to find a way out. Great. Yukino refers to the place as "Mr. Castle" (no, this has got nothing to do with the storyline, but it was still one of the chapter's best parts), and Lucy 2.0 wakes up. She reveals the group will be recaptured by the soldiers after going too close to Eclipse, having their Magic Power drained. When asked why did she travelled back in time, the girl reveals it was to avoid a certain future... ... the one which has Crocus destroyed by an army of over 10.000 Dragons.
Alright, I'm using this animation now, but, when I first read the chapter, my reaction was something like a plain expression and a half-hearted "Oh, really?". Don't know whether I'm getting more and more biased of if Mashima's simply incapable of coming up with surprising facts. Anyhow, yeah, Dragons. ... Longcats would have been way better. This chapter was, again, rather plain. The long-awaited Laxus vs Orga vs Jura threesome is finally real... Though seriously, I wouldn't be surprised to see the three of them dressed up as Natsu cosplayers in next chapters, seeing as outfits are just an opinion in Fairy Tail. Good art, nice 2-pages shot of the incoming Dragons. Well, that's all. See ya guys next month.
 Welcome to the The Last Pollbender! The page where we hold all kinds of polls each month to find out what Fairy Tail fans' opinions are on any and every subject!
 
        
  
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Sorcerer Magazine, Issue 13: January 2013
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